@LUSTSEXDOPE
Hey people (: ChuaSengYeow, 17 this year. Born on MarchTwentyFirstNineteenNinetySix. I wear a pair of thick-framed black glasses, which people complain are so nineteen-fifty. And I'm seen with a book wherever I go. I'm a retarded shit who loves to spend his time thinking about stuffs on long bus rides. The past will always leave a scar on my back, but i'll only concentrate on my future.
-That's me
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Sad love story. 

We started off as text buddies. I guess everybody starts off like that, isnt it? Pure and simple. Two person looking for someone who cares for them, who loves them wholehaertedly, who just wanna be with each other. Nothing more, nothing less. He forgot how. They started talking to each other every single day. Quick replies, he felt important to her. He found someone who cares. He found someone to love. He knew she was the one. After a few weeks. They got together. Things were progressing really quick. Simple love. He loved her. She loves him. What else could go wrong? Oops. So wrong. 

Things started going wrong. First time they quarrelled. Because he was too busy to meet her. Really too busy. She felt neglected. He knows. He tried, but he was too self centered. He only thought about himself. And all the other stuffs that was so ' important ' rather than meet her. Every single time they met, it was somewhere near his house. Maybe once or twice it was near her area. But, they lived really far apart. It was a long journey for her to go all the way to another area to meet up with him. But she rly missed him. She wanted to see him so badly that she wouldnt mind going so far just to meet up with him for awhile. What more? He took it for granted. He didnt care. He just thought about himself. He was too lazy to go and meet her. Just too lazy. Such a fucking jerk. 

And then she couldnt take it anymore. No more. She had enough. She decided to leave him. The boy took it as a break. He thought she'll be back. But no. She isn't. She still loves him. But she needed his attention too. She can't possibly keep loving and expect nothing. She needed his attention. She wanted him to ask her to stay. And what? Yes he did. He told her how much he actually loved her. And tried to make her stay. Of course she did. She loved him afterall. But his habit of being lazy hasn't changed. What more? Of course there was more quarrels coming. Bullshits. This and that. Quarrel because he couldnt meet her again. Cause of his stupid important stuffs. She felt neglected once again. But she knew he wouldnt change. She'll rather stay and give him all her love than leave him and be sad. She tried and tried. But this time, another trouble was brewing. 

He always meet his friends together with her. There was almost no alone time. Always him, her, and his friends. All she wanted was some fucking alone time with him. Why couldnt he just make some time for her, and enjoy some time spent with just both of them? Why couldnt he. She tried asking him for some alone time. All he said was ' i'll try '. Is that all he could say? Is it? Nothing else? She could make all the time for him, to go to such a far place to look for him. Just to spend some time with him. And all he could say was ' i'll try '? Fucking bullshit. She really couldnt take it anymore. All she wants is, some alone time, and some attention from him. What else? She could even go to his house just to have some alone time spent at his house after work, it was rly tiring. But she could. She did all those. She is really broken. At this point of time. She can't do anything else. She decides to leave him. And this time. It was for good. She started to give up. 

What could be worse? Oh no no you're so wrong. Worst is, he decided that she isn't gonna be happy like this. So he told her to move on. Telling her to move on? Can you believe it? I can't. He's such a fucked up bastard child that doesn't deserve any love from such a beautiful girl like her, she sacrificed so much, and yet nothing in return. None. After lots of thinking. She moved on. She knew he wasn't the guy that would give her his attention. She moved on to a much better guy. They seperated. 

A few months passed. At this point of time. He still thinks of her now and them. Maybe lesser now. He still doesn't know what he did wrong. He just thinks she left because she has her own reason. He's really stupid. But he misses her. He does. Because she was the one who could give in to him. Sadly, she's already gone. With another guy, who's so much better and treated her in a way that he couldn't. She was happy with him. Really happy. He was confused. He really was. He tried talking to lots of friends but all of them just said the same : she's already gone. What else can you do? He couldn't do shit man. Finally. One of them said something logical. It was a she. She told him everything  that he did wrong. She told him he should fight for his happiness instead of sitting around and do nothing about it. He wanted to. But she was with her love. He was alone. Even thou he had a girlf at that point of time ( due to some stuffs ). Yes that was no excuse. But he did think of her every now and then. Finally he saw her sad. He took the chance to talk to her. She replied. But she was sad over her boy. what can he say? He cheered her up of course. He was feeling guilty about what he did to her in the past. But he loves her still. He wants the best for her. He wants her to be happy. But of course he wants to be the source of her happiness. He wouldn't want a girl who misses her ex either. He wanted her and her heart back. But she really did love her boy. No. He doesn't wanna make her be with his. He'll rather be the boy that is with her thru her ups and down. Maybe she'll fall for him once again. Just maybe. He wanna be the one giving in now. He doesn't expect anything. He doesn't have the rights to after what he did to her. He's just gonna be right by her side. Whether or not she's sad. When she's happy. He'll smile with her. But when she's sad. He'll be sad too. But no, he's not gonna be emotional and cry out loud just because she misses her ex. He'll cheer her up and encourage her to get him back. He'll respect every decision she makes. Every single one. Now it's his turn to suffer.

What more can I say? This is karma. Karma hits really hard. If you can give me all the attention that you had. If you could do all those for me. Why can't I do the same to you? I'll be here. I promise. I was a person that was unwilling to give in to anyone. But not anymore. You're the one. 

Hey all my favourite readers, if there are any left. 2 months since I last blogged. Sorry if you ain't able to find my previous posts. I deleted them. A new journey begins. Time to start afresh. I can't possibly continue living in my own world. I've shut so so many people out from my life that I almost kinda shut myself out too. But no I didn't and now i'm back. I always managed to give others awesome explanations but when it comes to me myself, I can't do shit man. Okokok whatever ok. So yeah guys. I'm back. Better maybe? See for yourselves.

When I first met you, I didn't expect you to be this important to me. But since it's already this way, why not consider being mine? let's make this work. It will, I promise my dear.